Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Life on Earth is Precious and Temporary-We don't always remember that... until it's too late...



Say I love you...and let's BE HONEST NOW...DON'T SAVE things until later...LIVE NOW




My LOVE, My biggest supporter... This is Jeff's Journey too.  
Our Honeymoon Maui, and Kauai July 2007


HE Married me through CANCER in 2006 and has never left my side.
That speaks volumes and I can honestly say with all our hiccups in
dealing with such a MONSTER I married up :-)  Most of the time I wish
Jeff didn't have the burden of "Jen" and strive everyday and am
motivated everyday to be the person for him that he is for me.
It's easy to LOSE the LIFE of now in stress and life is too precious to do that.


Life is an ADVENTURE...Embrace it and enjoy the moments.  We will get back here, we will!



Good times <3




     Let's remember to "be present" NOW and not after it's too late.  These pictures make me smile and remind me of my adventurous spirit that has always been part of me, but in this journey these last couple of years it has been hiding.  I'm committed to living without fear, in the moment and NOW.  It's all we have and these remind me to do that even within my limitations.  There is always that moment when you wake up when you can do yourself a favor and ask yourself..."How can I be better?, How can I love my family more?, how can I BE the ME that without waivering I can 100% honestly answer the hard questions that I'm living contently and exactly how I want to be.  Our inner voices and spirituality dictate our happiness.   Love the ones that love you and be authentic in your ways.  You can't go wrong with honesty to the core and BELIEVE.  BELIEVE in something BIGGER and better than us.  We are not in charge, but we are in charge of how we handle ourselves and the choices we make :-)







My heart is heavy as I type this and I ask all that are praying for our family pray for the Smith family.  Catherine Sellers Smith has been under hospice care as of late and is waiting for God to take her home.  It's now a matter of time, we just don't know when.  I pray for her husband and the 3 small children she leaves behind.  I hope they can find comfort in knowing she is with her maker.  We have always said that that day before both of our surgeries (May 11, 2011) it was no mistake we were sitting right next to each other.  I have been inspired and in awe of her strength and BELIEVE since day 1 and know she would only want me to fight my fight even harder.  She is definitely with me.  I can feel her.  Her story touches my everything and motivates me to fight even harder.  I pray for peace.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Fight the Fight with me...





My Brain wants to GO and my body says NO...

This combination isn't a good one for me and it's been an emotional weekend.  I end up wanting all this to be over and say enough is enough.  The longevity of it has me down.  Like I said on Facebook, somewhere in all this I lost my "Can do" attitude mainly due to this feeling of wanting so badly to feel productive and independent but not being able to follow through.  Friday my rash started coming back so we know 7 pills won't work for me.  I stopped 2 doses and am back to 6 and rash wise doing ok.  The joint pain I feel truly hurts and also the reason I haven't been updating either.  My right hand I can't get to stretch out and it feels like the bones in it are crushed.  Going to ask about physical therapy.  There also comes a point when you hit that wall wanting to be dealing with something else in my life.  Not wanting to always be talking about Cancer etc.  I know I'll break through this feeling, but a commitment I made to myself was to be honest so maybe I can help someone out there.  Definitely not Polly Positive today.....and that is OK.


love to you all!


Melanoma SUCKS!