Friday, March 9, 2012

The BEAST and the DIVA...(The BEAST really has NO IDEA) GAME ON!

Off Zelboraf and Melanoma is trying to reclaim my body...NOT SO FAST!  Pray I can make it to hospital admit day.  This is definitely not going to be easy nor fun, but definitely worth it if it gives me more of a long term solution...HOPE IS ALL WE HAVE!  Here's the recap from last night and the days ahead:

 HATE MELANOMA!'s speed is ridiculous and in a blink of a second it tries to rip me to shreds. I've been up for an hour now since 2am. EXCRUCIATING hip pain. Nothing was cutting it. I just needed to go to the bathroom and there I find myself in a cradle position, unable to even rock, silent tears down my face. Please LORD, let me make it through these next two days. If I can't get ahold of this pain, I may need to check into the hospital early. SO MUCH HIP PAIN I was back to being lifted to the bathroom. 

Nothing worse that melanoma pain. NOTHING, at least in my life. Experience thus far :-(

Now I'm screaming. So much pain. All I had was hydrocodone so I took two. Kicking in but not cutting the pain. Terrible headache. I write this unable to sleep because the hip pain feels like knives. Please help me have the strength to get through this Friday and Sat without being admitted early. It hits hard when the pain is so high. I have melanoma, stage 4 and it's trying to kill me. Please pray for relief. 

Pray this trial works. Please pray that the week I'm in the hospital this BEAST DOESNT TEAR ME APART IN JUST ANOTHER SHORT WEEK. I've declined in such a short time off my medicine it's pretty frightening.  Pain starting to be masked. Thanks for listening. Thank you! How, just how does this monster think it can get me. IT WON'T. IT WON'T. Prayers to anyone and everyone. Effected by its unpredictability. ♥

 No words about last night other than, I'm going to need INTENSE prayers that I can endure the next couple of days and the 1st week of chemo in the hospital that will just be depleting my system and doing nothing for my melanoma. This fight started a long time ago, but it's really ON NOW! 

My road ahead is bumpy and jagged, but I need this path to hopefully one day be able to feel like i'm out. Melanoma...I HATE YOU! Leave me alone and YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MY FIRE REALLY LOOKS LIKE. I have to fight, I'm ready!

No comments:

Post a Comment