Sunday, March 11, 2012

Ok, it's out there...had a rough night and rough morning...I need to feel to FIGHT! so I am...

It's out there, if there is anytime to HATE anything, it's time to HATE MELANOMA!  I HATE IT.  Going on no sleep high pain and trying to get to the hospital.....here it is:


Emotional, exhausted, ambivialent, in pain...hospital bed ready, now I just want more time. Wanting to run and hide. I'm in need of so much help I feel very humiliated and like a burden. No one did anything, just the situation. No one really knows what to do. Not even me. Every emotion under the sun. Safe to say, I'm a mess. Ready or not...here we go! Prob. best I feel all this. It's real...I'm hurting, I'm nervous. I want this to work so badly. Please Lord help me get through this. I'm scared. It's a lot easier to face fears with some sleep under you belt and in a state of NO pain....BREATHING...One thing at a time.

2 comments:

  1. Jen,
    I found your blog a few weeks ago. I'm a patient of Dr. Hwu's at MD Anderson and live here in Houston. Right now I'm stage III with NED and am on Interferon. Ive had 2 surgeries - a WLE and all of my lymph nodes were removed along with a skin graft. All of this was done on my right leg. Your first round with this disease is quite similar to my experience.

    I am praying for you. You are a very strong person and an inspiration to all
    melanoma warriors. Keep fighting!

    Brandi

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  2. Brandi,

    If you ever need anyone to talk to or are in need of more support, PLEASE contact me. I am in a wonderful online support group that helps me with so much. Many of us have met just like you found me. I would love to hear your story and I wish you all the best. I know many people on interferon at the moment as well if you ever need anyone to talk to. Are you doing the peglated version? Good luck on your journey. Keep Believing...We will see this monster to it's resting spot! Def. a Bucket List ITEM for ME! Thanks for writing!

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